Aftermath of breakup

Chapter 53

Duan Xinglian sat in the corner of the sofa, the light and shadow of the chandelier hit his face, making his facial features more and more profound.

Feng Li suddenly realized at this moment that her son had already taken on the appearance of an adult since he was a child, and he would never reach out to ask his mother for a hug.

"Don't you guys have something to tell me?" When Duan Xinglian heard this, he looked over, with a serious expression that Feng Li had never seen before, and he continued, "I think I need an explanation."

Feng Li froze on the spot when he heard the words.

But she knew that this time it really couldn't be ignored.

Her father threw something at Duan Xinglian today. This action is tantamount to insulting. If he doesn't explain clearly, it will definitely become a knot in Duan Xinglian's heart for life.

But there are some things that Feng Li doesn't want Duan Xinglian to know at all, she is worried that Duan Xinglian will be affected.

Feng Li's eyelashes drooped, and he stood in the open space beside the sofa, looking very embarrassed.

Seeing this, Duan Chengsen on the side couldn't see that Feng Li was entangled, so he looked at Duan Xinglian with a dark face, and said decisively: "Why did you talk to your mother? You--"

But before he finished speaking, Feng Li tilted his head slightly in his direction, and frowned: "Shut up."

Duan Chengsen: "..."

Duan Chengsen was so angry that he let out a deep breath, walked to the French window angrily, and shut himself up with his pockets in his pocket.

Feng Li looked at Duan Xinglian again. On one side was the parents and on the other was the son. If both of them held grudges for this matter from now on, it would be a difficult situation for her to face, not to mention that Duan Xinglian had borne it for her since childhood. a lot of.

Finally Feng Li sighed, sat down on the sofa beside him, his brows dimmed.

"I have to explain." Feng Li said, "but before that, mom will say sorry to you instead of grandpa."

Duan Xinglian stared aimlessly at the fruit plate on the coffee table, and didn't respond to this. After all, it wasn't the first time Feng Li said this. A natural doormat.

Then, Feng Li was silent for about 5 minutes, as if he was trying to organize his words, and Duan Xinglian didn't rush him.

In the end, she suddenly raised her eyes, and then directly threw out a heavy speech, paving the way for a shocking beginning of those old events.

"Grandpa probably mistook you for uncle. Uncle committed suicide when he died, for a man."

When Duan Xinglian heard this, his eyes suddenly froze, and the hairs all over his body immediately stood up as if in stress. Even though he tried his best to control himself, there was still shock in his eyes when he looked at Feng Li.

And Feng Li's face was obviously sad, but she had no intention of hiding her words, she spoke very slowly, as if she had to stop for a while before continuing: "Back then, my uncle suddenly announced that he was with a man ..."

Feng Li's elder brother, Feng Heng, has been outstanding since he was a child. He has always been the pride of his parents and a role model for his younger sister. It is probably because of this foundation that he did such deviant things later that people are so surprised.

After Feng Heng came out of the closet, his parents were furious and sad. Feng's father held a cane in his hand and asked him if he could change it, but Feng Heng just stuck his neck and said stubbornly, "It's not wrong to like men, why should I change it."

Later, the two sides were in a stalemate, and Feng Heng hadn't stepped into the house for nearly a year.

After that, he went home, but it was because he was reported for his bad manners.

Feng's family was all in government agencies, and Feng's father was at an important opportunity for promotion. If he succeeded, their Feng family could be called a famous family even in Yancheng.

It happened at this time that Feng Heng's problems were exposed. The word "homosexuality" was like a scourge at the time, and it seemed that once it was contaminated, it was a heinous crime.

As a result, Feng's father has no hope of promotion.

Unexpectedly, at this time, Feng Heng's partner broke up with Feng Heng again.

Feng Heng looked for someone like crazy, but couldn't find him everywhere, and the person disappeared.

After that, Feng Heng fell into a slump and remained unmoved by the criticism and punishment from his work unit.

And Feng Li was already married to Duan Chengsen at that time, and the Duan family was in business, so there were not many places where they could help each other, but everyone knew in their hearts that they did not try their best.

Naturally, Feng Li couldn't stand by and watch. It happened that Feng Li's first love was in the organization department at that time, so Feng Li went to ask the other party for help.

But because Feng Heng refused to admit his mistakes and refused to become a negative example, he was eventually fired by the unit.

That year the Feng family was in chaos, it seemed that the smooth life of the Feng family had come to an end, and there would always be only dark clouds covering the family.

In addition, it is worth mentioning that Feng Li and Duan Chengsen also started to quarrel during that time.

Just because Feng Li went to his first love for help, and coincidentally, Feng Li happened to be pregnant with Duan Xinglian not long after that, and Duan Chengsen was possessive and suspicious, so he couldn't help but have doubts in his heart.

And Feng Li probably knew Duan Chengsen's conjecture, but she was also annoyed that Duan Chengsen didn't trust her. Besides, Feng Li looked gentle and gentle, but in fact his temper was exactly the same as her brother's stubbornness, so she didn't explain it. torment.

So for a long time later, Duan Chengsen suspected that Duan Xinglian was not his own, and he didn't like children himself, so he was always indifferent to Duan Xinglian, and he basically didn't bother to talk to him, which also caused the father and son to be estranged in the future. dear pattern.

This is also the reason why Feng Li and Duan Chengsen later divorced.

Of course that's all for later.

Back then, Feng Li thought that this was the worst situation. She felt that time would smooth everything out and her brother would recover.

She didn't expect that the worst news would always be behind her.

On the day of Feng Li's delivery, everyone in the family went to the hospital to wait, and for a while, no one noticed Feng Heng.

The birth of Duan Xinglian was supposed to add color to this cloudy home.

But everyone saw Feng Heng's already cooled body on the same day.

Feng Li knew from then on that everything would not be all right.

She also blamed her brother for being irresponsible, despising life, and not being strong enough, but later when she was sorting Feng Heng's belongings, she saw Feng Heng's diagnosis and treatment of depression, which was a thick stack.

It was only then that Feng Li realized that her brother had been suffering for a long time, and in the end he couldn't bear it any longer, and he was asking for relief.

But why?Why is it so painful?Just because he was abandoned by a man?

So if he hadn't fallen in love with a man, wouldn't all these tragedies have happened?

……

But at this moment, after listening to this explanation, Duan Xinglian finally understood that his uncle Feng Heng was a taboo in their family, and the matter of "homosexuality" related to him was an eternal thorn in their family's heart. It cannot be eradicated, and it is a heart-piercing pain when touched.

His grandfather is like this today, probably because he suddenly recognized him and Pei Yi as his uncle and his lover, and he returned to the dark time in that moment.

Duan Xinglian was unable to speak for a long time, and his eyes went out of focus again, as if he had fallen into old mourning.

Duan Xinglian is naturally embarrassed by this secret past that is not known to others.

But he has never experienced that period of time, he has never been in it, no matter how emotional he is, it is like seeing flowers in a fog, and he can't empathize with him.

only……

Duan Xinglian lowered his eyes, thinking about himself, but his heart sank completely.

In fact, he had had good dreams before—Duan Chengsen could be ignored, and Feng Li was very reasonable, so he always felt that the matter between him and Pei Yi would not be too much of a hindrance in the family.

He even planned to let his family feel and accept them bit by bit.

But at this moment he finally realized that it was impossible.

With this precedent, his family may not be able to accept the appearance of a "homosexual".

Just thinking of this, Feng Li paused for a while after talking about the past, with sadness still in his eyes: "It's probably like this, so Xiao Xing, can you understand?"

Duan Xinglian blinked and nodded mechanically.

But then, Feng Li looked at him again, her expression seemed to be repelling something, and she was inexplicably pleading, she tentatively tentatively: "Then we won't talk about this matter again, okay? good?"

Duan Xinglian's expression was blank, as if a heavy punch had hit him suddenly.

this matter.

what?

About his uncle, or something else?

Vaguely, Duan Xinglian seemed to understand Feng Li's implication, but he was not sure whether Feng Li meant that.

After all, Feng Li only met Pei Yi three or four times in total.

Duan Xinglian gradually clenched his fingers by his side, holding his breath, trying to keep himself calm.

And at this moment, whether it was true or not, Duan Xinglian overturned his previous plan of gradually infiltrating.

He began to think again, it would be great when he went to college. After college, the sky is high and the sea is wide. He can decide everything by himself, and no one can hinder him anymore.

So before that, it must not be discovered.

And at this moment, Feng Li was obviously still waiting for his answer, but Duan Xinglian couldn't give Feng Li any plausible guarantee.

Even if Pei Yi wasn't by his side at the moment, he couldn't say such duplicitous words.

So in the end, Duan Xinglian just changed the subject.

He stood up, his body was a little numb due to nervousness or sitting for a long time, when he passed by Feng Li, he said in a low voice: "You are also tired today, go to rest early."

Hearing this, Feng Li's eyes trembled slightly, looking at the direction where Duan Xinglian was leaving, not knowing what was going on in his heart, he seemed to want to stop him, but he didn't speak in the end.

And here Duan Xinglian walked upstairs. In the past, he just passed by. He was not curious about the photos in the stairwell. The photos he wanted to see were all in his room.

But this time when he passed the corner on the second floor, his footsteps stopped inexplicably.

Then he shifted his gaze, and suddenly met the person on the photo in the corner.

Duan Xinglian never imagined that his uncle, who looks so gentle, would have such a life of ups and downs.

At this moment, Duan Xinglian seemed to be having a conversation with this person he had never met through the torrent of time.

He whispered softly: "You love him very much, don't you? But no one understands you, and you are in pain, right?"

Duan Xinglian stared blankly, but after a while, he lowered his eyes and smiled inappropriately. There was a bit of mockery in that smile, and there was also some almost undetectable paranoia.

"It's actually quite ironic." Duan Xinglian shook his head slightly, "They avoid "homosexuality" like a snake, but I knew many years ago that I like boys. "

I don't know who is making a joke, and I don't know who is punishing.

Duan Xinglian was silent for a while, his eyes were serious, he didn't know what he was thinking.

Finally, he spoke again.

"But uncle, I understand you."

"Because I love him very much, even though in their eyes, I'm just a young man who doesn't know love and hate."

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