If you Don't Love Me, I Will Die

Chapter 16

It’s been about a week since I attended Viscount Roland’s ball.

The week that followed, as if contradicting the turmoil of the event, was peaceful.

As usual, I would have meals after waking up, engage in swordsmanship training, peruse magical books, and occasionally stroll alone in the garden—a week filled with ordinary activities.

Externally, it seemed impossible for it to be this peaceful, and my inner world reflected that.

‘I got used to hearing it.’

Her expression lingered vividly in my mind.

Despite her graceful smile, sadness was reflected in her eyes.

“Sigh...”

My thoughts were complicated.

In times like these, a cigarette might have provided solace, but unfortunately, my body, bearing the name of Edward, didn’t permit it.

No matter how often I put it to my lips, the hand that should ignite it refused to move.

A genuinely upright young man, indeed.

With that thought, I simply decided to endure.

Ania has been busy the past few days.

Even after marriage, being the second daughter of the Brontë family obligated her to participate in the family’s business matters.

Fortunately, this frequently kept Ania away from the mansion, which was a relief for me.

Considering the awkwardness that had developed between us, it was probably for the best.

In contrast, I found myself with little to do.@@@@

Due to the mismanagement of William Radner’s many businesses, the Radner family had nothing to do except run the order of knights.

Of course, as the eldest son, I didn’t need to intervene in managing the order of knights.

It was a matter William could handle alone, and, after all, I was practically a member of the Brontë family.

So, after finishing my swordsmanship training, I absentmindedly stared out the window.

However, my mood was disturbed again as Ania’s face came to mind upon seeing the garden adorned with golden flowers.

A week passed, and Ania returned to the mansion.

As I looked out the window, I noticed her carriage approaching.

Her face, reflected in the carriage window, seemed a bit tired.

Remembering the melancholic expression from the ball, I couldn’t help but follow Ania’s face.

Unconsciously, I kept staring at her and only snapped out of it when I realized what I was doing.

As a result, I was confused about how to perceive Ania when she returned.

I twirled my pen unconsciously, unable to focus on the book I was reading.

“My Lord.”

Suddenly, Ania knocked on the door of my room.

Though she waited for a response, the words inviting her in didn’t leave my mouth.

“My Lord?”

After knocking a few more times, Ania opened the door.

My heart raced, so I hid behind the wardrobe.

It seemed ridiculous, even to me, but I couldn’t think of a better alternative.

I couldn’t face Ania with a straight face.

“He’s not here...”

A sullen voice reached my ears, followed by the door closing.

“Oh, Edward.”

The time without seeing him felt too long.

Just thinking about it filled her with a thrilling excitement.

“What is this?”

However, the long-awaited meeting felt like being abandoned, akin to a discarded woman.

The blooming emotions were instantly replaced by a cold sensation.

In the complexity of her emotions, Ania felt her fingertips trembling ever so slightly.

‘Why is he avoiding me?’

Maybe it was because of the attack on the way to the ball.

Perhaps he was protecting the position he was forced into.

Or was it the gossip circulating at the ball?

People spreading rumors about her seducing men and causing their deaths.

She hadn’t told him to think that way, but rumors had a way of being misinterpreted.

Ania felt like she might burst into tears.

Despite trying to endure it, her eyelids turned red, and tears flowed uncontrollably.

She attempted to catch the drops that slid between her eyes, but they slipped through her fingers, falling onto her knees.

What if Edward starts hating me forever?

What if he can’t stand to see my face again?

Ania shed tears endlessly, spending the night in the chilling room as her tears dampened her knees.

***

The severity of the situation became apparent the following day.

As usual, upon hearing the announcement for mealtime, I descended to the dining hall.

However, the dining hall seemed slightly emptier than usual—Ania was not there.

Usually, I was slower to come down to the dining hall than she was, but the absence made me uneasy this time.

The faces of the servants waiting in the dining hall turned pale.

I stopped a passing servant with a stern expression and asked, “Why does everyone look like that?”

The servant cautiously looked around before whispering.

“My Lord... It’s about the My Lady.”

“What happened?”

“This morning, My Lady said she would skip breakfast... When I asked why, she told me not to come into her room.”

A chill ran down my spine.

I remembered her by the window yesterday.

Even though I thought she didn’t see me, she must have.

While I was in the room, she pretended not to notice.

“She occasionally gets upset like that, but it’s the first time I’ve seen her this upset.”

The revelation left me feeling uneasy.

The steward trembled as if in fear, and only now did Ricktman’s face turn visibly pale.

When he raised his head, our eyes met.

“My Lord...”

“Ricktman.”

“My Lord, please... Can you kindly ask the young Lady the reason for her anger?”

He was on the verge of tears.

“Please, My Lord, even if I have to give my life.”

“...”

For a moment, I felt sorry for Ricktman, who would have to bear the brunt of Ania’s anger, but I had to prioritize myself.

While Ania’s anger was one thing, I still couldn’t bring myself to face her.

Despite feeling a twinge of guilt for Ricktman, who had to bear the brunt of Ania’s anger, I took a deep sigh inwardly and picked up the dishes.

“I’ll go ahead and have my meal.”

“My Lord...”

Though Ricktman lowered his shoulders with a betrayed expression, I had no choice.