If you Don't Love Me, I Will Die

Chapter 27

“I’m sorry.”

When those words came out of Ania’s mouth, for a moment, I wondered if I was hearing things.

Thinking I might have misheard, I quickly turned to Ania.

But seeing Ania’s eyes glistening with moisture, I realized I hadn’t misheard.

Yet, a question escaped my lips.

“Could you repeat what you said?”

“...I said I’m sorry.”

Her small lips moved to utter those words.

“I’m sorry; I was wrong.”

The Ania Brontë I knew wasn’t someone who would say such things.

Her world revolved around her.

She received love from everyone, forgiveness if she threw a tantrum, and could escape without apologies.

However, Ania said it.

“I apologize.”

It was a somewhat blunt apology.

Not an acknowledgment of fault, just a unilateral declaration of apology because she felt sorry.

To those who didn’t know Ania, it might have sounded arrogant.

But to me, who knew her, it was by no means an arrogant apology.

That’s why I knew it was sincere.

“What exactly are you sorry for?”

I asked.

What exactly was she sorry about?

Was she apologizing for forgetting the promise?

No, for Ania Brontë, that wasn’t something to apologize for.

If it were, she wouldn’t have gotten angry for not believing in the excuse of not remembering, nor would she have been upset for not being kissed.

So, there must be another reason for her apology.

Something she truly felt sorry for.

Could it be that she felt sorry for saying she wanted to marry me, even though she didn’t love me?

If not, was it finally her way of saying she wanted a divorce?

I waited for an answer, but Ania remained silent.

She simply bowed her head, tears trickling down her cheeks.

Ania’s shoulders trembled lightly.

“What... What exactly are you sorry for?”

I asked.

But still, there was no response.

We stood there for a long time, staring into each other’s eyes.

Even as tiny snowflakes began to fall from the sky, brushing our shoulders and heads,

Still, Ania didn’t speak.

If it was too difficult for her to say, then...

That must be it.

I wanted to have Edward Radner, but since I couldn’t, I’ll let him go now.

Our marriage ends here.

But what could be the reason she couldn’t bring herself to say those words?

Could she have developed some genuine feelings over the past six months?

Even if Ania Brontë was called a villain for killing men, she wasn’t evil.

She’s just a little twisted.

So, even if she ended up developing some affection during our time together, even if she felt a bit sorry, or if the idea of saying the final words felt burdensome,

It’s not strange that she ended up feeling a little sorry.

So... if it’s difficult for you to say, let me say it for you.

“There is no need to apologize.”

If that heavy burden is what you’ll carry, then let me bear it for you.

‘What could he possibly mean...’

She just wanted to convey her apology, but perhaps her feelings didn’t come across properly.

Could she have been misunderstood?

Ania nervously bit her nails as she pondered.

However, no matter how much she thought about it, there was nothing else besides her apologies to Edward.

The misunderstandings were clear: Edward forgetting childhood promises, her promise not to get angry followed by anger, and the requests for kisses on the back of her hand.

There was nothing else for Ania to feel sorry for except for these reasons.

She couldn’t understand why Edward had said what he did.

Ania finally reproached herself for not asking Edward what he meant.

If only she had asked him what he meant...

Afraid Edward wouldn’t forgive her, she pretended to be led away by the servants.

She was too scared to answer whether she would come to hate herself.

‘Nothing has changed.’

Despite resolving to muster courage, nothing had changed.

Ania was still the same as when she couldn’t stop crying,

When she couldn’t meet Edward as a child,

When she couldn’t ask her mother to write her letters,

When she couldn’t reject the numerous suitors.

She was still young and naive.

Nevertheless, Ania never wanted to let go of Edward Radner.

She just wanted to convey her feelings to him.

That she had fallen in love with him and begged him not to hate her.

However, love isn’t eternal.

Just as the seemingly eternal walls and kingdoms eventually crumble, love also eventually ends.

As Ania climbed up the hill step by step, her heart fluctuated.

She didn’t want to lose that man. Her heart was overflowing to the point of dripping.

Her emotions turned into tears. Her vision began to blur, making it difficult even to walk.

“Oh...”

As she was walking endlessly, a rock caught Ania’s toe.

Her body lurched forward, but Ania didn’t even think about recovering from it.

Even if she fell and scraped her elbows and knees, it wouldn’t hurt as much as being hated by Edward.

As she let her body fall, she felt something support her.

Feeling like her body was floating in the air, Ania quickly wiped her eyes and looked ahead.

As the tears cleared, she finally saw the face of the person who had caught her.

“Are you okay?”

Edward.

Her Edward.

“What are you doing here?”

“I was waiting.”

Edward’s hands were cold like ice.

His ears and cheeks were tinged red.

‘How long had he been standing there?’

Looking at his face, Ania couldn’t contain the emotions bursting forth in her heart.

That wasn’t courage.

“Edward...”

It was her sincere emotions.

“Don’t hate me.”

A sincere heart is something that, no matter how hard you try to hide it, cannot be concealed.

“You said I could do as I wished. So...”

Even if you try to hide it, it will burst out like a sneeze.

“Don’t leave me... Stay by my side.”

Ania’s voice trembled as tears rolled down her face.