HBWnovel Chapter 55 Break Up
Chapter 55 Break Up
Qi Jiu felt that he needed to communicate with Yan Shiqing.
He is also in love for the first time, and he still doesn't know how to call it "correct" and "normal", but first of all, he knows that this is a relationship that he will not be satisfied with, or even feel painful.
Qi Jiu checked the forum, asked friends, and even read a few papers on interpersonal communication, and finally pointed to the solution of communicating more with the other party.
But Qi Jiu has been lacking opportunities.
On the night of the film festival, Qi Jiu almost ran away.
He didn't tell Yan Shiqing that he had arrived at the meeting place, and made a few excuses to apologize, and then talked about congratulations in a few words.
He tapped on the screen, wanting to ask Yan Shiqing if he would come back, looked at the small green vertical lines flickering in the dialog box, and deleted the jargon word by word.
Qi Jiu was very obedient, and when Yan Shiqing asked him to go back, he came with his bag on his back, and when Yan Shiqing was going to another city, he left without saying a word.
Most of the time, he still stayed alone in the company's stacked villa, and that home finally became an empty shell, unable to keep anyone, more like a post that provided a short-term stay.
Yan Shiqing seemed to be aware of it, but he didn't ask Qi Jiu to move back, nor did he stop it from happening.
He seemed to be planning something again, but he still isolated Qi Jiu, preventing him from participating again.
Qi Jiu felt so tired.
He seemed to never wait for Yan Shiqing to open his mouth, and saw the door gradually close, and in the process, all the patience and courage of confrontation were gradually worn away.
Qi Jiu slowly realized that the thread between him and Yan Shiqing was getting thinner and thinner, leaving only a thread as thin as a spider's silk wrapped around his wrist, which seemed like nothing, and was tantalizing.
He thought that normal couples shouldn't be like this.
Should a normal couple choose to quarrel and then reconcile when one party makes a self-serving decision, or should they kiss and hug when they are confused about the relationship between the two.
Shouldn't it be like now, dissipating all emotions in the night, swallowing all words back to the throat.
Qi Jiu has been silent too many times.
He is destined to be unable to erupt in silence, and the only thing he can win in the end is death.
The new year of that year came very late.
Yan Shiqing came to pick him up, instead of taking him home, he drove to a nearby small town.
It was a place with a strong rural atmosphere, very similar to Yancheng, and the air was full of ethereal smoke and fire.
Qi Jiu originally had a lot of reminiscing things to say, but after thinking about it, he felt that it didn't make much sense, so he swallowed them all.
He and Yan Shiqing walked on the street and got into the crowd.
The taste of the year has not been downplayed in the small city, and the fiery red and hot enthusiasm is wrapped in the sound of firecrackers, chirping into the ears.
Yan Shiqing thought that Qi Jiu would like it.
This is a year with strong traditional cultural meaning, and it is also the first year that Yan Shiqing and Qi Jiu have crossed together in the six years since their relationship.
Surrounded by the yelling of small vendors mixed with accents, Yan Shiqing couldn't quite understand it, but he felt that Qi Jiu would definitely understand it, so I could ask him to translate it sentence by sentence for me later.
There is a master selling sugar paintings and sugar kneaders next to him. He wants to knead with Qi Jiu, but he thinks he will look like a rabbit again, so he doesn't like it.
A lion dance team came over with beating gongs and drums, squeezed their way through the crowd, and flung their tails flamboyantly away.
It's a bit noisy, but Qi Jiu has been staring at it, so he probably likes it.
There should be some woven little tigers for sale, they look very distinctive... Buy more and put them in the wedding venue, Qi Jiu should be very happy too.
Is he going to set off firecrackers?Want to see the fireworks reflected in his eyes.
Tired of wearing a mask all the time?Did you pass by a place that sells masks just now? Do you want to go back and buy two pairs?
But with the mask on, you can't see him smiling.
Why didn't Qi Jiu talk to me?
There were too many people around, and the gathering was noisy and lively, Yan Shiqing had to hold on to Qi Jiu firmly to prevent him from getting lost.
He was thinking wildly, and felt that the resistance to Qi Jiu's walking was getting bigger and bigger.
Looking back, Qi Jiu was staring at a lantern.
Warm bright yellow one after another, smoked the street into a secular color, put it into Qi Jiu's eyes, like a star.
Qi Jiu raised his head, didn't realize that Yan Shiqing was calling him, and felt that his hand was hooked, so he turned his head slowly.
His hair was soft, curled up by the wind, looking at Yan Shiqing who was outlined by the warm lamp with a small melting edge.
Yan Shiqing seemed to be saying something, but Qi Jiu didn't hear it clearly, and didn't ask any more, just responded with a random sentence:
"...I was looking at it just now, and there seems to be a moth in the lantern." Qi Jiu turned his head and smiled with the corner of his mouth raised, "It doesn't seem to be moving now, I don't know if it flew away or died."
He felt Yan Shiqing approaching him, felt the body temperature of the two people approaching suddenly, felt his voice amplify, felt his breath falling on his hair.
But there was too much noise around, Qi Jiu's ears were in confusion, and he couldn't hear what Yan Shiqing said just now.
Then Yan Shiqing gradually distanced himself from him.
There are too many people, and they are crowded in the joyful crowd.
Amidst the din, beaming human beings celebrate new beginnings with the most vulgar and romantic of all.
Qi Jiu was squeezed in place and couldn't move, or he said he didn't want to move, his feet seemed to be filled with iron, and his knees were cemented, watching Yan Shiqing get further and further away.
He watched Yan Shiqing get involved in the crowd, and watched Yan Shiqing move forward.
The hem of the clothes is intertwined with other people's, one's hand is held by the other party, and the arm is stretched to the limit.
Then slowly let go, from the wrist, the palm, to the knuckles, and finally Yan Shiqing's thumb slipped over the tip of his index finger.
Deliberately, gently.
Qi Jiu could feel that his temperature was dispersing, converging to the top of his fingers, and then disappearing suddenly.
Like strings stretched to the extreme, balloons filled to the brim, the last grain of sugar that causes the solution to become saturated.
——Crack.
Then all sounds disappeared.
Laughter, firecrackers, children running around, yelling and hawking, all vanished into nothingness in an instant.
It seems to be the afterglow after the explosion, the moment when I fell off the cliff.
Nothing remained in Qi Jiu's ears, his world suddenly became very clear, only his own voice could be heard.
He only heard his own voice mixed with the eagerness to take a breath, and even every turn was extremely clear, the opening and closing of his lips and teeth became slow, Qi Jiu said——
Qi Jiu said, "Let's break up."
So everything was silent, and the dust fell to the ground.
Qi Jiu and Yan Shiqing's hands were only one centimeter together, and the extremely weak spider silk that was originally wrapped around the wrist was finally torn because of this centimeter.
With his back turned to him, Yan Shiqing stepped forward and landed slowly.
......what.
Qi Jiu didn't know if he heard it, or even if this performance was a fantasy repeated in his mind many times.
But he saw Yan Shiqing stopped.
Yan Shiqing had a choice, he could choose to turn around as if nothing had happened, pretending that he didn't hear anything, then maybe Qi Jiu wouldn't have the courage to say it again.
As long as he behaves normally, as long as he ignores all the details as before, he can ignore all clues, pretend that everything is normal, and continue to be with Qi Jiu.
Or as long as he doesn't look back and keeps going forward, he can avoid the bad ending, as if nothing happened.
Yes, this is the best option.
As long as he acts realistically and pretends to be real enough, he can still maintain this vulnerable relationship.
It's not difficult, he is the film king, it's just a breeze to do this.
Now just take a step forward—
Yan Shiqing looked forward, and in such a colorful and noisy night, he only saw the Daiqing village that was not illuminated by the lights.
The heavy and dazzling color in his eyes finally gradually faded away. He had never experienced such an intense and lively year, and finally lost color bit by bit with his movements.
The blackness at the end of the street, the redness of the swaying lanterns, and the yellowness of the diesel lamps all start from the edge and are swallowed into endless paleness.
White, overwhelming, encroaching on his field of vision.
Including pictures of the past, mixed with future fantasies.
Qi Jiu who stood at the bottom of the dilapidated stairs and cried that he had a bad temper, Qi Jiu who hugged him in the crappy factory to tell him not to be afraid, and Qi Jiu who was supposed to be crying and laughing when he was preparing for his two-month wedding.
They all seemed to have been burned by fire, devouring the thick and colorful scrolls, gradually gathering in the middle, and stopping on Qi Jiu's light-colored pupils.
...go forward, where can I go?
Yan Shiqing turned his head gradually.
Then Qi Jiu standing in front of him also turned pale in the end.
Yan Shiqing blinked his eyes slowly in the endless whiteness and endless panic.
He found that the death he thought he had escaped was just slowed down and delayed.
He escaped the heart-piercing moment, avoided the crumbling night, and then, most inadvertently, met the knife that stabbed his heart.
In such a time of family reunion and calm.
A deafening bell rang, and there was cheering all around, celebrating an unwarranted future.
The ring was still in the bag, and the fireworks were blooming on his head. Yan Shiqing got his wish and saw the fireworks released briefly in Qi Jiu's eyes.
Then Yan Shiqing's time seemed to stop from this moment.
He didn't know what he had done, and he didn't know what he should do next.
He was deprived of even the pain, the nails clenched into the flesh, the cold air was sucked into the lungs, but he felt nothing.
After depriving all five senses, he faced the expressionless Qi Jiu, not knowing whether he rushed up to hold his hand, or nodded silently.
Yan Shiqing finally felt that the fireworks were a bit too noisy.
He raised his hand to cover his eyes, and let out an inaudible breath from his nasal cavity:
Ok.
Yan Shiqing didn't know if Qi Jiu heard it, and didn't want to repeat it again, so he just said, "Then I'd better buy the candied haws."
Qi Jiu opened his eyes slightly.
——It was only then that he realized it dully.
The last sentence that Yan Shiqing said before breaking up, before letting go of him, which he didn't hear clearly, was:
"Are you hungry? Let me buy you candied haws, okay?"
I have thought about this breakup plot for a long time, and I don't know if I have expressed it well.
In short, they each have their own concerns, and while avoiding all the thrilling and heart-piercing moments, they broke up in a sea of people because of their emotions.
......See you tomorrow