My Feelings Can Wait

Chapter 123

What she said is true, but it's just that if you avoid the seriousness, you can ignore it - if you say it too lightly, you won't believe it; if you say it too clearly, you can't.

At that time, Ji Youyan's body was ruined, and everything seemed hopeless. Everyone thought that she could recognize the reality and went back home.But Jingxiu is not.

Holding the piece of jade in her hand, she stood under the scorching sun and sand for a long time, finally found her voice, turned around and said to Tao Xingruo, "You can go back first."

Tao Xingruo was astonished, "What about you?"

Jing Xiu's eyes sank like a pool of stagnant water, and Tao Xingruo understood her silent insistence—she still wanted to continue according to the original plan.In Jing Xiu's state, how could she rest assured that she would be alone.But Jing Xiu didn't believe her anymore, she didn't believe that there was really anyone in this world who was willing to help her save words.

She made excuses to dismiss Tao Xingruo, and left alone with the bodyguards.

The address that Daokong had given before had been so long ago, Jing Xiu could only vaguely remember the general idea.There are many Buddhist temples, large and small, in Tibet. According to the fragmentary clues of addresses, she trekked mountains and rivers, traveled to many places, and finally found the Buddhist temple where Daokong was.

It was an ancient temple built on a remote high mountain. The heavy rain had just passed, and the mountain road was rugged and muddy. Jing Xiu's soles slipped a few times, and he almost walked up with his last breath.Standing on the hillside, they could see the dilapidated and dilapidated Buddhist temple washed by the heavy rain not far away. Inside the gate, there were few incense sticks. It did not look like a holy place blessed by eminent monks.Even the bodyguards were a little disappointed for Jing Xiu.

But Jing Xiu still came up.Standing outside the mountain gate, she shook off the mud first, straightened her posture, clasped her hands together to bless her body, and then raised her feet to enter.She didn't believe in anything before, but now, she is willing to be the most devout believer at the Buddha's feet.

As soon as she stepped into the mountain gate, the little monk in plain clothes who was sweeping the floor not far from the gate looked up and saw her, and made a ten-fold to her from a distance.

He walked to Jing Xiu's side, and said a Buddhist mantra: "Master knew that the benefactor will come, and he has been waiting for a long time. But it is too late, and there is no way to return to heaven. Please come back, benefactor."

Jing Xiu's eyes, which had been silent for many days, suddenly burst into morbid ecstasy because of his refusal.

She insisted on meeting Dao Kong, but the little monk was ordered by his master to refuse to introduce him no matter what.There is a chance for everything, and the chance has passed, so it cannot be forced.The little monk advised so.

Jing Xiu didn't listen to a word.She has no choice but to force her.

She bent her legs and kowtowed in front of the main hall to pray: "May the master see the disciple."

The heavy rain at night could not quench her delusion, and the clear Sanskrit sounds in the morning could not clear her obsession. She knelt in front of the hall for two days, and when her last breath was almost gone, Dao Kong Mercy finally received her.

He sighed: "Fool, it's all calamity." The world is caused by cause and effect, it is her fate that should have this calamity, and it is also his destiny that this calamity should have happened.Take her life, give her life back.

So he set up the dojo, led Jingxiu to drink the Sanyuanfu water, cut open the blood veins in his wrists, self-injured his vitality, self-destructed his fate, borrowed his life in the next life to make up for the life of the season, and used blood to guide the way, half false and half true The body steps into the river of time and retraces the time.Wherever she stops, time starts again.

Daokong said that the secret art has been lost for a long time, success or failure is in the sky, and life and death are unpredictable.

Jing Xiu left a letter to deal with the affairs behind him.

She said she would.

Daokong said that she was originally a person of great merit and virtue, so her fate was noble, she enjoyed the fortune of ten generations, and she was honored and prominent.Now going against the sky, involving too many people's lives, and committing too many karma.From then on, all merits and virtues should be destroyed, and all glory should be lost.

Jing Xiu said that she has no regrets.

"Borrowing the life of the world, making the life of the present" these eight words Jing Xiu said lightly, but it fell into Ji Yuyan's ears like a thunderclap.

What is borrowed life?Ah Xiu, is there no afterlife?Ji Youyan was in a trance, his kneeling body became weak, and he collapsed backwards.

"Yanyan!" Jing Xiu quickly stabilized her shoulders.

Ji Youyan put his hands on the bay window to support his body, and asked Jing Xiu with force, "I don't understand... Ah Xiu, can you be clearer?" Isn't it what she thought, right?no……

Jing Xiu took her other hand tightly clenched into a fist, stroked the deep nail marks in her palm, and said gently: "As you have dreamed, and as you guessed, the safety button is The medium, which records the memories I have in the previous life, carries the spiritual power I exchanged for in the next life. With the protection of Master Daokong, I went back in time. I guess it is because of the uniqueness of the item, so after time returns, I As soon as I opened my hand, your safety button changed color and lay in my hand. Life in the next life, this is the price I pay." Half-truth and half-false.

"It's just the next life, and the next life, the next life, so..."

She didn't finish her comforting words, Ji Youyan's voice trembled, but the pain interrupted her soberly: "But, what will happen to people who have no afterlife?" If there is no life in the afterlife, where will she be?

Ji Yuyan clenched Jing Xiu's slender hand tightly, as if a big hole had been broken in his heart, it couldn't be filled, and the blood couldn't flow out.

what will happen.Jing Xiu also silently recited a sentence in his heart.

"I don't know." She stared at Ji Yuyan's red eyes, and said openly, "That's something that needs to be considered in the next life."

"How do you manage the next life in this life? Yanyan, who will you be in the next life? Who will I be in the next life? The next life is a matter of the next life, and I never extravagantly imagine life after life. I am satisfied if I can exchange the ethereal afterlife for a definite present. "

How could she speak so lightly?Tears once again blurred Ji Youyan's vision, making her unable to see Jing Xiu's gentle eyebrows.She hugged Jing Xiu as hard as if she wanted to embed her tightly into her body: "Why are you so stupid..."

"Ah Xiu, I'm not worthy of you doing this for me." The warm liquid slid down Jing Xiu's neck, scorching Jing Xiu's heart.

Jing Xiu hugged Ji Youyan back, using her body to feel Ji Youyan's rapid and powerful heartbeat, satisfied and distressed. "Do you have to force me to say something more hypocritical?" She seemed helpless.

She asked Ji Youyan back: "Then am I worth it? Is it worth it for you to love me like this? Whether it's the past or the present all over again, you don't have a better and easier choice, don't you? Is it worth keeping me alone like this? "

Ji Youyan's strength in hugging her seemed a little stronger, and he answered her in a low voice and firmly: "You are worth it."

Jing Xiu said "um", rubbed his forehead against Ji Yuyan's shoulder, and said seriously: "If you say I'm worth it, then I'm worth it."

"So in the same way, don't belittle yourself anymore, let alone say sorry. If you have to say sorry, then I owe you an apology. Yan Yan, I offended you. I haven't asked your wishes, I haven't asked Are you willing to use this body to come to this world again?"

"Tell me, would you like to?" she asked solemnly.

"I can't wish for it." Ji Youyan's breath was getting heavy, her heartache and guilt made it hard for her to breathe, "but I don't want to be bought by you with such a sacrifice."

Jing Xiu leaned against her shoulder and shook his head: "This is not a sacrifice."

"Yanyan, you don't need to be moved by guilt, and I won't be moved by myself." She saw clearly, "I want you to live, and everything I do is actually to satisfy my own wishes. This is what I do for you. The price I pay for my own regrets is not a sacrifice for you."

Her gentle explanation did not make Ji Youyan feel better, even like a whip stained with salt water, it hit her bloody heart.

Ashamed.

Her Ah Xiu, obviously deserves all the beauty in this world, why did she meet her and fall in love with her like this.

But she knew that any words of apology or inferiority would be an insult to Jing Xiu's love.She stopped talking, didn't say I'm sorry, didn't say thank you, she pressed against Jing Xiu's ear, saying each word affectionately: "I love you."

"Ah Xiu, I love you." She couldn't control herself, stroked Jing Xiu's hair, kissed Jing Xiu's ear, cheek, and kissed Jing Xiu's cool lips.

Jing Xiu's amber eyes melted away the melancholy, like the sun pushing away the dark clouds, revealing a soft smile.She raised her neck, slightly parted her lips, and greeted Ji Yuyan's passionate kiss emotionally.With the bitterness of tears and the smell of blood, lips and tongues intertwined, tossing and lingering, in each other's body temperature, the loneliness and desolation of life and death in the previous life were blended.

The lingering kiss ended, and Ji Youyan leaned against the window frame, holding Jing Xiu in his arms, interlocking her fingers with one hand, and gently helping Jing Xiu with the other hand.Jing Xiu leaned in her arms, unconsciously twirling Ji Yuyan's hair with her fingertips, her eyes sparkling like a lazy cat.

The rain outside the window gradually stopped, and Jing Xiu's breath gradually calmed down.Ji Youyan couldn't help but lowered his head and kissed her forehead, nose tip, and chin again, and Jing Xiu narrowed his eyes in enjoyment.

She raised her head and kissed Ji Yuyan's beautiful jaw line, and negotiated with Ji Yuyan: "About this matter, do you have any questions? After today, let's turn this matter over, shall we?"

Ji Youyan knew that Jing Xiu was considerate of her.She suppressed all her emotions in her heart, and promised Jing Xiu: "Okay, let's live a good life now."

Jing Xiu's eyes were rippling, and his expression relaxed a lot.

"I want to ask one last question." Ji Youyan said in a deep voice, "Does the inexplicable pain really have nothing to do with rebirth?"

Jing Xiu frowned and said: "The price that the master told me did not mention this item. Maybe it has something to do with it, maybe it doesn't matter." She was telling the truth.

"Since the physical examination is fine, don't worry."

Ji Youyan was silent for a few seconds before whispering: "Okay, I see."

Jing Xiu hesitated for a moment, then said, "Then you're done asking, it's my turn to ask."

Ji Yuyan gently rubbed her hair with his chin, and said softly, "Well, you ask."

"Did you reject "National Producer" in your last life?" In her last life, she thought that Ji Youyan really didn't love her anymore, so she believed it.In this life, she was convinced of Ji Youyan's deep love for her from the beginning to the end, and then recalled that Ji Youyan resolutely refused the reconciliation steps she gave in the previous life, and suspected that something was wrong.

Sure enough, Ji Youyan was puzzled: "Why did you say 'I turned it down'? I never approached me in the last life, and this time when I signed the contract, I asked Mr. Tao to help me win the show."

Jing Xiu was suffocated for a moment, and Ji Youyan also noticed something. The two looked at each other, and gritted their teeth tacitly: "Wang, Jun, Chan."

Thinking about it this way makes sense.Why did Ah Xiu lower his status to participate in this program?I thought I would participate.And the last one to participate in this show was another female artist from Dingfeng who could come and go, and Wang Junchan even provoked her with this-"Only obedient children can eat cakes".Thinking about coming to this show, she was originally thinking about herself, but because she was unwilling to accept the unspoken rules, Wang Junchan wanted to give her a cold shoulder, and directly replaced her with another female artist, and even claimed that she rejected it?

Ji Youyan became short of breath, clenched his fists.Maybe, maybe she and Jing Xiu were not like this in the last life.

A cold light flashed in Jing Xiu's eyes, she wrapped Ji Yuyan's fist, and comforted her: "Isn't there a saying in China that if you don't report, it's not time yet?"

Ji Youyan had some calculations in his heart, and Sen said coldly: "Well. The wicked will have their own rewards."

Jing Xiu reached out to touch the mountain peak between Ji Youyan's eyebrows, Ji Youyan put away the hostility in his eyes instantly, and relaxed his eyebrows.

Jing Xiu then changed the subject: "According to Master Daokong, when going back in time, only I, who is holding the jade, should have memories. Why, you also have memories?"

Ji Youyan murmured: "It should be because I walked a long way with you in the state of soul body at that time."

Jing Xiu was surprised.

Ji Yuyan pulled Jing Xiu's hand and kissed it, and explained: "Actually, after I died, I seemed to...follow you all the time. It seemed that in the first moment, I crossed mountains, rivers and seas, and went to France..." What did she think , the end disappeared, and he said again: "But I don't know why, maybe it's because I walked through the road with a soul body? So after I came back, my memory of after death was very vague and scattered."

Jing Xiu noticed something that she deliberately skipped and didn't mention, and her heart was suddenly pricked by something.She tightened her arms around Ji Youyan's waist, and took the initiative to ask: "About... I married Song Wenyan in the last life, don't you have anything to ask?"

Ji Yuyan's heart skipped a beat, and he put Jing Xiu's hand on his cheek: "Ah Xiu, now and in the future, you will only be surrounded by me, and that's enough."

"So, if you don't want to talk, I don't have anything to ask." She meant it.