once had a boyfriend

Chapter 157 Return to Dust

Who said that our lives will always decline at the most prosperous time.Everything that used to be like a brocade of flowers will decline with time, and eventually, it will return to dust.

Time will always take something away from us, some are indifferent, while some are extremely precious.

I burned all the letters that senior sister Gu Lina wrote to me, and let the black ashes scatter with the wind and disappear...

After that, I cut my hair short and dyed it back to black.

I did not do well in the final exam and failed two subjects.It happened that Xiao Hei also failed, so the two of us agreed to come back to make up the exam together after the holiday.

When I got home and found out about my test scores, my mother scolded me head and face.Ask me what I am busy with every day, and I can't even handle an exam.Still failing the exam, it's not ashamed to lose.

At this time, my exhaustion has not been relieved, and I have no energy to argue with my mother.I just told my mother that I was in love.

My mother was stunned when she heard it, and then adjusted her emotions, and began to persuade me to take care of both, and not to waste my studies just because I fell in love.On the surface, I agreed, but I didn't listen to my heart at all.Of course, I also know that my failure in the exam this time has nothing to do with falling in love.It's just because of what happened to senior sister Gu Lina earlier that I really feel that the world is unpredictable, and my mood will inevitably be affected.

After that, I was depressed for several days, but fortunately, He Tian Ge Ge fully understood me and accommodated me in everything.Otherwise, if he still quarrels with me, I probably won't be able to get out of the shadows.

Before the holiday this time, He Tian Ge Ge still hugged me reluctantly and said that he wanted to come back with me, but I firmly refused.I want to be quiet now, I really want to be quiet.So He Tian and Ge Ge let me come back first, saying that he happened to be going to participate in an e-sports competition, and he would contact me when he came back from the competition.

I meditate behind closed doors at home, without any activities every day.My little friend asked me to go out and wander, and I would use various reasons to prevaricate, saying that I didn't have time.I watch TV dramas at home every day. There are hundreds of episodes of TV dramas, and the DVDs feel like soap bubbles can pop out when you touch them lightly.The plot is also terrible, all the bloody plots I have seen so far in my life are integrated into it.

I have to say that the screenwriter is a talent.This is how many soap bubble TV dramas have to go through to integrate such a TV series with hundreds of episodes, which is bloody from beginning to end! ! !

It took me more than a week to watch all of these more than 600 episodes of TV series.After watching it, I feel that the whole person has become different.I used to be very impatient when I saw a soap opera, and I would choose to turn it off immediately, but now I feel that my mood has become much calmer after watching it.

Through the baptism of more than 600 episodes of soap operas, I have fully honed my patience and cultivated my quiet character.

My mother couldn't help being a little worried seeing me living in the boudoir for a long time, and asked me what happened with great concern.I always say nothing.My mother thought that I was feeling uncomfortable because of the failure of the subject, so she came to comfort me and said that it was okay, just read the book carefully, and just pass the make-up exam when I come back from the holidays.

Although I promised well, I didn't even bring back my textbooks.

I finished watching all the soap operas brought by my cousin at home. When I was so bored, I thought of the calcium tablets that my cousin gave me to store in my computer.

In retrospect, it was so far away, it was still a freshman holiday.At that time, my heart was pure, and I felt that I would not be involved in such things at all.But the world is really unpredictable, and now that I have come out of the closet behind my family's back, it seems reasonable to come to see a calcium tablet for tutoring.

In the middle of the night, I silently climbed up to the attic of my house.The computer in the attic is basically not touched by anyone, and my mother rarely cleans the attic. Cleaning means sweeping the floor or something.So every time I come back the computer is covered with a layer of dust.

This time is no exception, I first wiped the computer with a rag.I wonder if I should get a cover to cover it up...

It's been a long time, and I don't quite remember where it existed at the time.I rummaged through several disks of the computer before I found those calcium tablets with Japanese titles.

I hesitated when I moved the mouse, and struggled for a long time. Finally, after drinking a bottle of Yakult, I made up my mind and clicked on a video...

I opened my eyes wide and looked at the picture that appeared on the screen, but I was very indifferent.From the beginning when the clothes of the two of them were still in good condition, to the time when both of them were stripped clean, touched and kissed for a long time, and then it was about to get down to business, I couldn't get excited all the time.

So I turned off the video decisively and stared at the computer wallpaper for a while.I suddenly felt that I had some psychological or physical problems...it seemed a little too calm...

The next day, I went to the hospital to register and called for a psychologist to see me.This expert usually doesn't come to the hospital very often, but I was lucky to catch up with him on this day.After registering, there were only two people in front of me.

A psychiatrist is different from a doctor who usually sees a fever, cold and diarrhea. A patient can finish it in two to three minutes.A psychiatrist sees a patient for at least half an hour.

I waited outside the door for an hour and a half before it finally arrived.

After I went in, I saw that the psychiatrist was still very young, probably in his 30s, wearing black narrow-rimmed glasses, and looked very refined and handsome.When he saw me, he smiled at me, that smile was very gentle, very warm to a "patient" like me.

The doctor first asked me to fill out a form and gave me 5 minutes to fill it out.I wrote about it, nothing special, just some basic information.

After I handed him the form, he smiled at me and asked me if I was confused.

I told the doctor that I seemed sexually aloof, not interested in men or women.

The doctor told me that I am indeed old enough to have this kind of impulse, but if I don't have it, I can't say that I am sick.Because people are different, some people are enlightened earlier, and some people are later.

The doctor thinks it's normal that I don't have this urge now.He also asked me if I have a girlfriend now.Anyway, no one knew anyone who came to see the doctor, and my home was far away from here, so I told him that I had a boyfriend.I also roughly told him about the way I usually get along with He Tian and Ge Ge.

The doctor felt that He Tian and I were more like playmates after listening to my story.And it's not the kind of serious love feeling.But the doctor still kept the suggestion, because he felt that he only listened to my dictation, and he didn't have a comprehensive understanding of our affairs.

He asked me what I liked most about my boyfriend.I answered truthfully, "Because he's handsome."

What I said was indeed true, but the doctor was obviously stunned for a moment. The doctor told me that this reason shows that my mind is not mature enough.Looking at a person is like looking at the surface.

In fact, what he said was correct in itself, but I felt that he was a bit blunt here.After all, when people get along with each other, it depends on their appearance at the beginning.First impressions depend largely on appearance, so to say that people are mentally immature feels too one-sided.

I told the doctor truthfully about my thoughts.The doctor was very calm, and asked me what else I like about He Tian Ge Ge.

I said that he was actually very kind to me, because of his personality, he couldn't do too caring things.But I gradually got used to it, and I think it's good. If I'm clingy like Jiang Yu, I'll find it a bit annoying.

The doctor said that my idea was wrong. If there are two people in love, they would hope to be together all the time.Most people get sticky with each other.

I felt a little suffocated when I heard the doctor's words, why has he always opposed my words!This doctor wants me to make a fuss, doesn't he! ! !

But after all, he is a doctor and I am a "patient", so let's calm down and listen to what he has to say.I know there must be something wrong in my thinking, otherwise I wouldn't be here.

The doctor suddenly asked me, "If your boyfriend loses his appearance, do you still like him? Will you still be with him?"

"What are you talking about~"

"If, if~"

I thought about it patiently, "This... I can't say it well..."

The doctor clapped his hands, "Okay, I probably understand. In fact, you don't like him, you only like his face. I don't think you two need to be together. It's better to break up and live separately, so there will be no such pressure .”

Having said that, I flipped the table.After holding it in for a long time, I was finally able to scold the doctor. It was meaningless to just scold, and I had to pick and smash things on his desk.

When outsiders heard the movement, they all came to stop me, and I was still aggrieved.The doctor was very calm, and even prescribed me medicine, telling me to go back and adjust my mood.

Of course I wouldn't take his medicine list and rush out the door.

When I came out, I still didn't feel very happy.This is no doctor, just talking to himself.I have always denied my ideas, trying to instill my own opinions in me bluntly.I'm here to see a doctor, not for brainwashing! !

If I broke up with He Tian Ge Ge because of his few words, He Tian Ge Ge would not tear me up! !

I found a nearby cold drink shop and ordered a cold drink and an ice cream.Sit down and calm down for a while, then I should give the black-mouthed doctor two punches.If I hadn't weighed the difference in strength and felt that he was stronger than me, I would have done it long ago! ! !

I thought this unreliable psychiatrist would stop here, but I didn't expect to receive a call from the psychiatrist as soon as I got home!

I was very puzzled, and asked him what was the matter, whether he wanted me to compensate for the smashed things or something.But I was very sensible at the time, and I didn't smash any valuables at all.

The doctor seemed to have a different tone from before, and told me not to be angry, saying that he was teasing me before~

I am XXXX, I was not happy at the time, the young master spent money to see a doctor, are you kidding me? ? ?

The doctor comforted me, don't be angry, and told me a secret.I wondered very much what secret he had to tell me.

Who knows, he pretended to be mysterious and told me, "Actually, I'm also a crook..."